Possible Amendments to CPC Constitution

Photo © UPI

The Communist Party of China will amend the Party Constitution at the upcoming 18th National Congress. The following are some ideas proposed in the draft document:

1. Energize base and return to Communist roots with good old-fashioned purge.

2. Increase investment in developing authentic Mexican restaurant chain.

3. To ensure the purity of Mao Zedong Thought, all documents relating to Mao Zedong will be removed from general circulation and destroyed.

4. Only one bread roll, served as an accompaniment to soup in the Zhongnanhai cafeteria, is complementary. Supplemental rolls must be paid for out of pocket or with embezzled funds.

5. While no women will be promoted to the Politburo Standing Committee, a consensus has been reached that Liu Yandong is doing a pretty good job, for a chick.

6. Revise criteria for Politburo membership to take into account square footage of houses and number of mistresses.

7. China is now allied with Oceania and is at war with Eurasia. China has always been at war with Eurasia.

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