China Pundits Proved Wrong in 2012 Make Same Predictions for 2013

Pundit

NEW YORK — With the new year just around the corner, China pundits who saw their 2012 predictions fail to come true are doubling down on 2013.

Richard Powell, who has been prophesying the fall of the Communist Party since the late ’90s, believed that 2012 would finally see the CPC lose its grip on power.

“Alright, I was wrong,” Powell said during an appearance on msnbc. Then, without any self-reflection or irony, Powell renewed his augury for 2013.

“This next year will be the end of one-party rule in China,” he said confidently. “You can bet on it.”

Going on nothing but his gut and a vague answer from his daughter’s Ouija board, Fox News’ Charlie Hamm was “beyond certain” that the Chinese economy would collapse this year—a claim he’s made every year since economic reforms began in 1978.

“Forget what I said last year about this year, and what I said two years ago about last year.”

Hamm, who has never been to China, gave his prognostication on Hannity: “Forget what I said last year about this year, and what I said two years ago about last year—what I have to say this year about next year is: the Chinese miracle is over.”

When asked to elaborate, Hamm mumbled, “You know, the stock market… automotive industry, the Chinese are buying cars and… manufacturing… Foxconn?”

Due to the proliferation of cable news programs that have abandoned the traditional journalistic practices of vetting guests and asking follow-up questions, no crazy forecast is off the table.

Talking heads on The Situation Room offered equally improbable guesses about what to expect from China in 2013—ranging from “Xi Jinping will tap dance on television” to “Zhang Yimou will make a good movie” and “Google services will stop being throttled.”

As Richard Powell, one of the few people who has more incorrect predictions than Nostradamus, put it, “You can’t lose in punditry.”

“If you’re right, you brag about it; and if you’re wrong, come 2014, no one will remember.”


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