Thank You for Your Donations

Guo Meimeiby Guo Meimei

Guo Meimei is the self-proclaimed general manager of the China Red Cross Commerce Department.

Hi there. By now you’ve seen the devastation caused by the earthquake in Ya’an. Hundreds are dead and thousands more injured.

After the earthquake happened, ordinary citizens ventured into collapsed buildings to see who they could pull out. People near and far lined up outside hospitals to give blood. Many of you have donated money to charities like the Red Cross Society of China.

It makes me happy to see Chinese people banding together after such a terrible tragedy. I am reminded of why this is a great country. But it makes me even happier to see that money you donated get funneled into my checking account through a series of microtransactions that you won’t ever notice.

The same thing happened in 2008. When that earthquake struck, Chinese people around the country came together, united in their grief, and did whatever they could to help their fellow man.

Schools across the country held candlelight vigils, volunteers poured into Sichuan and regular folk like you and me gave clothes and food to those in need. That time too, your kind donations to the China Red Cross Society flooded my bank account to bursting.

In 2008, people believed that state-run charities could be trusted to perform their duties without being tainted by the hopelessly corrupt government that manages them. They gave their hard-earned money to an incompetent and amoral organization that had little intention, if any, to help those affected by the disaster.

It heartens me to see that many of you have held onto that belief and are giving money to the same group of people who horribly mismanaged your donations five years ago. I promise to spend your money well.

In an effort to increase transparency, I will detail exactly what I buy with your money on my Weibo account. Not to give too much away, but I’m writing this from a Maserati showroom. I’ll post the photos as soon as the paperwork goes through.

I also plan to get further work done on my face. Some of you may call this shallow, but I believe it’s what the earthquake victims would have wanted.

Lest you call me greedy, I do not plan to spend all your money on myself. Some of the funds will be used to buy local government officials new watches. I’ve seen the awful pictures of officials forced to visit the disaster area without a luxury timepiece. Don’t you think they deserve better?

In closing, I’d just like to say that I am proud of all of you. Your continued belief in a system that has betrayed your trust countless times is endearing. Don’t ever change.

And keep those donations coming.

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