Xi Jinping Issues Warrant for Daenerys Targaryen

Xi and Daenerys

JING’S LANDING — Almost 70 years after House Targaryen was defeated along with The Usurper Chiang Kai-shek during the Chinese Civil War, the Small Council of the Politburo has issued a warrant for the arrest of the youngest and only surviving heir to the last of the great houses, Daenerys Stormborn.

Speaking from the Iron Throne, Party Chairman Jinping of House Xi, First of his Name, King of the Han, the Huaxia and the First Peking Men, Lord of the Middle Kingdom and Protector of National Sovereignty declared that the news of Daenerys’ marriage to a Dothraki horselord, presided over in the Free City of Taipei by Magister Ma Ying-jeou, had “awakened a long-dormant threat to the Realm.”

“We have no choice but to bring the final spawn of the Targaryens, who was fostered at the bosom of Chiang, to the King’s incontrovertible justice.”

House Targaryen, one of the most powerful houses of the Old Kingdom of Easteros which fell to the rebellion of Mao the Merciless in 1949, has long been rumored to be plotting a return to the mainland, where many secretly pray for their restoration to power.

Since all of Mao’s heirs are rumored to be bastards, the family’s claim to the throne has long been in doubt.

Since all of Mao’s heirs, including the dwarf Lord Xiaoping