September | 2013 | Ministry of Harmony

Xi Jinping No Longer Swiftly Replying to Barack Obama’s Text Messages

Thursday, September 19, 2013

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what is being described as a clear indication of shifting global power dynamics, Chinese President Xi Jinping has reportedly stopped replying to U.S. President Barack Obama’s text messages in a timely fashion, and sometimes does not reply at all.

Sources close to President Obama say he checks his phone obsessively for a courteous, albeit hours-late reply from his Chinese counterpart.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

LOS ANGELES — After releasing teaser trailers featuring some of Chinese-American basketball superstar Jeremy Lin’s most spellbinding moments, the directors of Linsanity told reporters that the full cut would feature a whole 18 seconds of content unrelated to basketball, detailing Lin’s vacuous off-court life and drab excuse for a personality.