Reforms from the Third Plenum of the CPC Central Committee

CPC plenum

The third plenum of the CPC Central Committee is set to take place from 9-12 November and forecasters are expecting significant changes in China’s economic policy. Here are some of the planned reforms:

  • Value of RMB to be determined daily by random number generator
  • Clearer legal definition of haves, have nots
  • Put country behind paywall
  • Establish more transparent hongbao system
  • All heavy industry and chuar stands will be shut down if heavy smog persists for three days
  • Cost of mistresses (up to five) can now be claimed as a business expense
  • Allow state-owned banks to package sub-prime mortgages into arcane financial instruments and trade them endlessly between each other
  • Currency to be printed with a new picture of Chairman Mao sitting on a pile of gold
  • Sexier bank tellers
  • Haunted mansions can apply for exemption from estate tax upon proof of haunting
  • Zhongnanhai “Caviar Mondays” to be discontinued
  • Redistribution of wealth among the working masses to advance development of communism  [REJECTED]

RELATED NEWS:
Woman Discovers Her Car Is Japanese After Seeing It Smashed by Ro...
Security Guard with Rubber Baton Thinks He's Clint Fucking Eastwo...
China Bans Banks from Handling Bitcoins

Comments are closed.