Reforms from the Third Plenum of the CPC Central Committee

CPC plenum

The third plenum of the CPC Central Committee is set to take place from 9-12 November and forecasters are expecting significant changes in China’s economic policy. Here are some of the planned reforms:

  • Value of RMB to be determined daily by random number generator
  • Clearer legal definition of haves, have nots
  • Put country behind paywall
  • Establish more transparent hongbao system
  • All heavy industry and chuar stands will be shut down if heavy smog persists for three days
  • Cost of mistresses (up to five) can now be claimed as a business expense
  • Allow state-owned banks to package sub-prime mortgages into arcane financial instruments and trade them endlessly between each other
  • Currency to be printed with a new picture of Chairman Mao sitting on a pile of gold
  • Sexier bank tellers
  • Haunted mansions can apply for exemption from estate tax upon proof of haunting
  • Zhongnanhai “Caviar Mondays” to be discontinued
  • Redistribution of wealth among the working masses to advance development of communism  [REJECTED]

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