World Leaders Applaud China for Not Killing Anyone Yet

Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Photo © Getty

BEIJING — This week, leaders from around the world applauded Chinese President Xi Jinping for showing “extraordinary restraint” in dealing with the ongoing chaos spurred by democracy protests in Hong Kong.

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Jaycee Chan-Shaped Bongs Now Available on Taobao

Friday, September 26, 2014
jaycee

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PLA Navy Withdraws from North Sea After Scotland’s “No” Vote

Tuesday, September 23, 2014
PLA Navy

LONDON — Britain’s Royal Navy reported Monday that frigates belonging to the People’s Liberation Army Navy anchored near British waters had turned back for their home port in Qingdao after the Scottish referendum on independence returned a decisive “no” vote.

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Pros and Cons of China’s New Operating System

Thursday, September 18, 2014
China OS

Miniharm had the opportunity to test China’s new operating system, due out in October. Here are the pros and cons of the as-yet-unnamed OS:

  • Looks just like Windows XP.
  • Comes with free, six-month trial of Astrill VPN.

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Chinese Man Misses Goal, Accused of Match Fixing

Monday, September 15, 2014
Xi Jinping

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College Erects Statue of Mass-Murderering Psychopath in Front of Campus

Friday, September 12, 2014
Photo © Song Bai from Flickr

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Dozens Dead from Ingesting Gift-Laden Mooncakes

Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Mooncakes

BEIJING — In what could be the deadliest Mid-Autumn Festival in decades, 38 officials were found dead over the weekend after ingesting mooncakes stuffed with gifts intended to curry favor.

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I’m So Ashamed of My Son

Friday, September 5, 2014
Jackie Chan

By Jackie Chan

It’s a terrible thing for a father to publicly chide his firstborn, the apple of his eye. But, given recent revelations about my son Jaycee, I simply can’t remain silent. So I’m just going to say it.

Jaycee, your terrible acting and singing has sullied the good name of Chan.

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Law to Require Celebrities to Try Products Before Endorsing Them

Thursday, September 4, 2014

A updated draft of China’s advertisement law requires celebrity spokespeople for products to try said products before endorsing them. Here are the feelings of the Chinese people.

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Communist Party Offers Hong Kong Choice Between Approved Candidates

Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Douche and Turd

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