Xi Jinping Disapproves of “Weird Architecture”

Friday, October 31, 2014

In a recent speech, Chinese President Xi Jinping urged a stop to the construction of “strange-looking” buildings that have proliferated around China. Here are the feelings of the Chinese people.

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Corrupt Hard Drive Removed from Office

Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Hard Drive

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Kenny G Disperses Hong Kong Protesters by Playing “Going Home” on Continuous Loop

Friday, October 24, 2014
Photo © AP

HONG KONG — The turbulent Hong Kong democracy protests came to an end yesterday when jazz saxophonist Kenny G dispersed the crowds by playing his hit song “Going Home” on a continuous loop.

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Li Keqiang Seen Loading Entire National Budget into ATM

Thursday, October 23, 2014
Photo © AP

BEIJING — According to multiple eyewitnesses, Chinese Premier Li Keqiang is currently loading China’s entire national budget for Q3 and Q4, 2014 into a Bank of China ATM near Tiananmen Square. The bespectacled politician was seen loading over 7 trillion yuan in new 100 yuan bills directly into the machine, printing a receipt for every 10,000 deposited.

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Russian Tiger Released by Putin Swims to China

Friday, October 17, 2014

Kuzya, a Siberian tiger released into eastern Russia by President Vladimir Putin in May, has swum across the Amur River into China. Here are the feelings of the Chinese people.

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iPhone 6 to Retail in China for One Kidney

Tuesday, October 14, 2014
iPhone 6

BEIJING — Apple CEO Tim Cook announced last week that, in addition to RMB, Chinese customers could purchase the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus with working kidneys.

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Yan’an Restaurant Sold Opium-Laced Noodles

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

The owner of a restaurant in Yan’an admitted to garnishing his noodles with crushed poppy buds after a patron tested positive in a routine drug test. Here are the feelings of the Chinese people.

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Drum Circles in Hong Kong Reach Critical Levels

Friday, October 3, 2014
Hong Kong

HONG KONG — As the democracy protests in Hong Kong enter their second week, sources say the number of drum circles in the city has reached critical levels.

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