Sun Yang Becomes First Chinese Athlete to Make Pathetic Excuses for Doping

Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Sun Yang

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Expat Decides Partly Overheard Chinese Conversation “Probably Racist”

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

BEIJING — While traveling on the Line 10 subway after finishing his tutoring work Monday evening, Beijing-based Jake Gryczynski spent approximately 35 seconds attempting to decipher a loud conversation between two middle-aged Chinese women before deciding that what they were saying was “probably racist.”

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China, U.S. Agree to Focus on Environment Shortly Before It Collapses

Monday, November 17, 2014
Photo © Getty

BEIJING — In an unprecedented step toward curbing climate change, Presidents Xi Jinping and Barack Obama agreed last week to focus on the environment shortly before it collapses entirely.

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Xi Jinping and Shinzo Abe Wish Handshakes Were Never Invented

Friday, November 14, 2014
Photo © AP

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Leaders of China, Japan, Philippines and Vietnam to Settle Island Disputes with Fight to the Death

Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Aquino and Xi

BEIJING — Hailed as one of the biggest success stories to come out of APEC, the heads-of-state of China, Japan, the Philippines and Vietnam agreed on Tuesday to settle their territory disputes in the South China Sea with a classic, no-holds-barred fight to the death.

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Beijing Euthanizes Poor People Ahead of APEC

Friday, November 7, 2014
Photo © Getty

BEIJING — To ensure world leaders see a clean and beautiful city, the Beijing government has euthanized millions of the city’s poor ahead of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit, which begins today.

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Yao Ming Shot by Poachers

Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Yao Ming

NAIROBI — Former basketball star Yao Ming has been shot and killed by ivory poachers in Kenya, sources confirmed yesterday.

The longtime anti-poaching activist was reportedly feeding on vegetation near one of his preferred watering holes in Aberdares National Park when he was ambushed by hunters, who shot him three times with a high-powered rifle.

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