China Creates Ministry Dedicated to Reminding the World That Japan Is Bad
NANJING — To commemorate the 77th anniversary of the Nanjing Massacre, China’s State Council has established an entirely new ministry dedicated to reminding the world that Japan is bad.
Aptly named the Ministry of Japan Is Bad, the organ is responsible for continually reminding the world about Japanese atrocities during World War II, releasing daily reports about whether Japan as apologized sufficiently for said atrocities, and tracking which Japanese politicians have visited or are planning to visit the Yasukuni Shrine.
“Too long has Japan suppressed the truth regarding its involvement in World War II,” said newly appointed Japan Is Bad Minister Wang Hongwen. “Since the Japanese will not, the task of vouchsafing historical truth for future generations falls to us.”
“Put simply, our duty is to remind everyone, constantly, that Japan is the worst thing ever.”
Though the ministry was only established two days ago, it has hit the ground running.
According to a preliminary budget, the ministry intends to construct a China-backed Nanjing Massacre memorial in every country, encourage primary schools around the world to reenact the massacre on its anniversary, and ensure the domestic availability of Japanese flags for burning, impromptu protests or other anti-Japanese activities.
In related news, the State Council established another ministry over the weekend dedicated to suppressing the knowledge of the Tiananmen Square protests.
When asked about the apparent hypocrisy, Wang said, “We must not forget the atrocities committed by the Japanese government any more than we should remember those committed by our own.”