What Are Our Chinese New Year’s Resolutions?

Lose weight, stop smoking and call discipline authorities on unpopular manager — 22%

Misquote more ancient classics — 10%

Help fallen people in street instead of watching them die — 16%

Actually get around to starting that course of chemotherapy — 8%

Liberate Diaoyu Islands — 38%

Punch out dragon dancers making racket in courtyard — 5%

Uphold principles of Marxism–Leninism–Mao Zedong Thought — 1%