Archives

By Post:

• Anti-Fascist Parade Indistinguishable from Fascist Parade
• Why Are Things Exploding?
• Two-Kilometer Exclusion Zone Established Around Tianjin City Officials
• What Are Our Chinese New Year’s Resolutions?
• How Are We Spending Chinese New Year?
• Xi Jinping to Direct, Produce and Star in CCTV New Year’s Gala
• 19-Year-Old Chops Off Hand to Cure Internet Addiction
• Argentine President Apologizes for Racist Tweet, Saying “Me So Solly, Me Rove China”
• How Will China Remove Western Values from Chinese Colleges?
• New Chinese Government VPN Allows Users to Access Censored Internet Anywhere
• I’ll Tell You Why China Hasn’t Produced a Steve Jobs
• Chinese Woman Chops Husband’s Penis Off Twice
• China Removes Female Form from TV Drama
• Miniharm’s Top 10 Moments of 2014
• Plane Forced to Turn Back After Pilots Start Fist Fight Over Legroom
• Macau Offers Citizens $10 in Chips to Celebrate Anniversary of Merger with Mainland
• China Pulls All Copies of “The Interview” from Pirated DVD Stores
• Man Exonerated 18 Years After Execution
• China Creates Ministry Dedicated to Reminding the World That Japan Is Bad
• Mark Zuckerberg Tattoos Entirety of “Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-tung” onto His Back
• Mark Zuckerberg Now Reading Entire Back Catalog of Communist Party Journal Qiushi
• U.S. Tech Leaders Welcome Man Responsible for Blocking Their Sites
• STUDY: U.S. Now More Racist Against Blacks than China
• Chinese Government Bans Puns
• Sun Yang Becomes First Chinese Athlete to Make Pathetic Excuses for Doping
• Expat Decides Partly Overheard Chinese Conversation “Probably Racist”
• China, U.S. Agree to Focus on Environment Shortly Before It Collapses
• Xi Jinping and Shinzo Abe Wish Handshakes Were Never Invented
• Leaders of China, Japan, Philippines and Vietnam to Settle Island Disputes with Fight to the Death
• Beijing Euthanizes Poor People Ahead of APEC
• Yao Ming Shot by Poachers
• Xi Jinping Disapproves of “Weird Architecture”
• Corrupt Hard Drive Removed from Office
• Kenny G Disperses Hong Kong Protesters by Playing “Going Home” on Continuous Loop
• Li Keqiang Seen Loading Entire National Budget into ATM
• Russian Tiger Released by Putin Swims to China
• iPhone 6 to Retail in China for One Kidney
• Yan’an Restaurant Sold Opium-Laced Noodles
• Drum Circles in Hong Kong Reach Critical Levels
• World Leaders Applaud China for Not Killing Anyone Yet
• Jaycee Chan-Shaped Bongs Now Available on Taobao
• PLA Navy Withdraws from North Sea After Scotland’s “No” Vote
• Pros and Cons of China’s New Operating System
• Chinese Man Misses Goal, Accused of Match Fixing
• College Erects Statue of Mass-Murderering Psychopath in Front of Campus
• Dozens Dead from Ingesting Gift-Laden Mooncakes
• I’m So Ashamed of My Son
• Law to Require Celebrities to Try Products Before Endorsing Them
• Communist Party Offers Hong Kong Choice Between Approved Candidates
• Chinese Version of Ice Road Truckers Features Heavy Use of Methamphetamine
• China’s New World Map Claims Hawaii, Most of Micronesia
• The Chinese Are the Cause of All the World’s Problems and I Have a Tiny Penis
• CCTV Biopic Changes Deng Xiaoping’s Words to “Let Some People Get Rich First, Then Let Them Get Even Richer”
• Mao’s Embalmed Corpse Disinterred to Undergo Ice Bucket Challenge
• Hong Kong Residents Protest Proposal to Allow Mainlanders to Use Local Restrooms
• Xi Jinping Now Charging Random People on Street with Corruption
• Emergency Propaganda Airlifted to Earthquake-Stricken Yunnan
• Global Times Wins China’s Top Satire Award
• Proud Parents Hope Daughter Will One Day Avenge Rape of Nanking
• China to Require Real-Name Registration on Public Instant Messaging Accounts
• No Events of Note in Western Xinjiang on Thursday, August 7 at 8:56 AM
• Hu Jintao Officially Becomes Waxwork
• Shanghai to Add 6 New Parking Spaces
• Guangdong Removes 866 “Naked Officials” from Posts
• Shanghai McNuggets Found to Contain Traces of Actual Chicken
• Xi Jinping Barred from Cuba After Attempting to Steal Castro’s Elixir of Life
• Guo Meimei Arrested for Gambling on World Cup
• CCTV to Rebroadcast China’s 2002 World Cup Appearance Instead of 2014 Finals
• Pepe Red-Carded for Headbutting World Cup Panda
• After 1 Year, Zhou Yongkang Investigators Have Yet to Find Evidence of Corruption
• Minister of Education Strongly Advises Daughter to Study Abroad
• Foreign Ministry Spokesman Hong Lei Debuts New Mohawk
• 4G Coverage Now Available Everywhere Except Where You Are
• Foreigner Caught Trying to Smuggle Birds Out of China
• New Mother Vows to Give Daughter 8 or 9 Years of Childhood
• Chinese, Russian Navies Bond over Constant Drunkenness, Military Impotence
• Journalist Gets Three Sentences into Report Before Mentioning Tiananmen
• 25th Anniversary of the June Fourth Incident
• China Celebrates 25th Anniversary of PLA Victory over Counter-Revolutionary Students
• Mining Tycoon Sentenced to Death for Not Being Powerful Enough to Avoid Death Penalty
• NSA Warns Americans China Might Hack Their Cellphones
• U.S. Court Sentences Chinese Hackers to Public Pwning
• Suicides Among Young Students Linked to Exam-Based Education System
• China’s Contingency Plans in the Event of North Korean Collapse
• Pregnant Woman Desperately Trying to Hold Baby In Until American Airspace
• Changes in CCTV’s Cleaner Version of The Big Bang Theory
• People’s Daily Discovers Massive Security Flaw in Internet
• Hit CCTV Show Just Footage of Old People Weeping
• Justin Bieber Delays Release of Hideki Tojo Tribute Album Amid Controversy
• FBI Releases Video Warning Students About Chinese Espionage
• Oliver Stone’s Comments on Censorship Censored
• Local Man Blames Failed Relationship, Eczema on Opium War
• Japanese Flags at Half-staff in Tribute to Mickey Rooney
• This Is No Way to Handle a Tragedy
• Man Who Needs Something from China Says Nice Things About It
• Xinhua Abandons Search for Japanese Link to Missing Plane
• Study Calling Korean TV Fans Fucking Retards Decried by Fucking Retarded Korean TV Fans
• Max Baucus Still Standing in Local Starbucks, Waiting for Someone to Notice
• Female Participation Soars to 7% at 2014 National People’s Congress
• Uneasy Silence Hangs over Old Peking as Politburo Rides out of Town