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- Anti-Fascist Parade Indistinguishable from Fascist Parade
- Why Are Things Exploding?
- Two-Kilometer Exclusion Zone Established Around Tianjin City Officials
- What Are Our Chinese New Year’s Resolutions?
- How Are We Spending Chinese New Year?
- Xi Jinping to Direct, Produce and Star in CCTV New Year’s Gala
- 19-Year-Old Chops Off Hand to Cure Internet Addiction
- Argentine President Apologizes for Racist Tweet, Saying “Me So Solly, Me Rove China”
- How Will China Remove Western Values from Chinese Colleges?
- New Chinese Government VPN Allows Users to Access Censored Internet Anywhere
- I’ll Tell You Why China Hasn’t Produced a Steve Jobs
- Chinese Woman Chops Husband’s Penis Off Twice
- China Removes Female Form from TV Drama
- Miniharm’s Top 10 Moments of 2014
- Plane Forced to Turn Back After Pilots Start Fist Fight Over Legroom
- Macau Offers Citizens $10 in Chips to Celebrate Anniversary of Merger with Mainland
- China Pulls All Copies of “The Interview” from Pirated DVD Stores
- Man Exonerated 18 Years After Execution
- China Creates Ministry Dedicated to Reminding the World That Japan Is Bad
- Mark Zuckerberg Tattoos Entirety of “Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-tung” onto His Back
- Mark Zuckerberg Now Reading Entire Back Catalog of Communist Party Journal Qiushi
- U.S. Tech Leaders Welcome Man Responsible for Blocking Their Sites
- STUDY: U.S. Now More Racist Against Blacks than China
- Chinese Government Bans Puns
- Sun Yang Becomes First Chinese Athlete to Make Pathetic Excuses for Doping
- Expat Decides Partly Overheard Chinese Conversation “Probably Racist”
- China, U.S. Agree to Focus on Environment Shortly Before It Collapses
- Xi Jinping and Shinzo Abe Wish Handshakes Were Never Invented
- Leaders of China, Japan, Philippines and Vietnam to Settle Island Disputes with Fight to the Death
- Beijing Euthanizes Poor People Ahead of APEC
- Yao Ming Shot by Poachers
- Xi Jinping Disapproves of “Weird Architecture”
- Corrupt Hard Drive Removed from Office
- Kenny G Disperses Hong Kong Protesters by Playing “Going Home” on Continuous Loop
- Li Keqiang Seen Loading Entire National Budget into ATM
- Russian Tiger Released by Putin Swims to China
- iPhone 6 to Retail in China for One Kidney
- Yan’an Restaurant Sold Opium-Laced Noodles
- Drum Circles in Hong Kong Reach Critical Levels
- World Leaders Applaud China for Not Killing Anyone Yet
- Jaycee Chan-Shaped Bongs Now Available on Taobao
- PLA Navy Withdraws from North Sea After Scotland’s “No” Vote
- Pros and Cons of China’s New Operating System
- Chinese Man Misses Goal, Accused of Match Fixing
- College Erects Statue of Mass-Murderering Psychopath in Front of Campus
- Dozens Dead from Ingesting Gift-Laden Mooncakes
- I’m So Ashamed of My Son
- Law to Require Celebrities to Try Products Before Endorsing Them
- Communist Party Offers Hong Kong Choice Between Approved Candidates
- Chinese Version of Ice Road Truckers Features Heavy Use of Methamphetamine
- China’s New World Map Claims Hawaii, Most of Micronesia
- The Chinese Are the Cause of All the World’s Problems and I Have a Tiny Penis
- CCTV Biopic Changes Deng Xiaoping’s Words to “Let Some People Get Rich First, Then Let Them Get Even Richer”
- Mao’s Embalmed Corpse Disinterred to Undergo Ice Bucket Challenge
- Hong Kong Residents Protest Proposal to Allow Mainlanders to Use Local Restrooms
- Xi Jinping Now Charging Random People on Street with Corruption
- Emergency Propaganda Airlifted to Earthquake-Stricken Yunnan
- Global Times Wins China’s Top Satire Award
- Proud Parents Hope Daughter Will One Day Avenge Rape of Nanking
- China to Require Real-Name Registration on Public Instant Messaging Accounts
- No Events of Note in Western Xinjiang on Thursday, August 7 at 8:56 AM
- Hu Jintao Officially Becomes Waxwork
- Shanghai to Add 6 New Parking Spaces
- Guangdong Removes 866 “Naked Officials” from Posts
- Shanghai McNuggets Found to Contain Traces of Actual Chicken
- Xi Jinping Barred from Cuba After Attempting to Steal Castro’s Elixir of Life
- Guo Meimei Arrested for Gambling on World Cup
- CCTV to Rebroadcast China’s 2002 World Cup Appearance Instead of 2014 Finals
- Pepe Red-Carded for Headbutting World Cup Panda
- After 1 Year, Zhou Yongkang Investigators Have Yet to Find Evidence of Corruption
- Minister of Education Strongly Advises Daughter to Study Abroad
- Foreign Ministry Spokesman Hong Lei Debuts New Mohawk
- 4G Coverage Now Available Everywhere Except Where You Are
- Foreigner Caught Trying to Smuggle Birds Out of China
- New Mother Vows to Give Daughter 8 or 9 Years of Childhood
- Chinese, Russian Navies Bond over Constant Drunkenness, Military Impotence
- Journalist Gets Three Sentences into Report Before Mentioning Tiananmen
- 25th Anniversary of the June Fourth Incident
- China Celebrates 25th Anniversary of PLA Victory over Counter-Revolutionary Students
- Mining Tycoon Sentenced to Death for Not Being Powerful Enough to Avoid Death Penalty
- NSA Warns Americans China Might Hack Their Cellphones
- U.S. Court Sentences Chinese Hackers to Public Pwning
- Suicides Among Young Students Linked to Exam-Based Education System
- China’s Contingency Plans in the Event of North Korean Collapse
- Pregnant Woman Desperately Trying to Hold Baby In Until American Airspace
- Changes in CCTV’s Cleaner Version of The Big Bang Theory
- People’s Daily Discovers Massive Security Flaw in Internet
- Hit CCTV Show Just Footage of Old People Weeping
- Justin Bieber Delays Release of Hideki Tojo Tribute Album Amid Controversy
- FBI Releases Video Warning Students About Chinese Espionage
- Oliver Stone’s Comments on Censorship Censored
- Local Man Blames Failed Relationship, Eczema on Opium War
- Japanese Flags at Half-staff in Tribute to Mickey Rooney
- This Is No Way to Handle a Tragedy
- Man Who Needs Something from China Says Nice Things About It
- Xinhua Abandons Search for Japanese Link to Missing Plane
- Study Calling Korean TV Fans Fucking Retards Decried by Fucking Retarded Korean TV Fans
- Max Baucus Still Standing in Local Starbucks, Waiting for Someone to Notice
- Female Participation Soars to 7% at 2014 National People’s Congress
- Uneasy Silence Hangs over Old Peking as Politburo Rides out of Town
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