Macau Offers Citizens $10 in Chips to Celebrate Anniversary of Merger with Mainland

Monday, December 22, 2014
Photo © Bloomberg

MACAU — As part of planned celebrations to mark 15 years since partnering with the Chinese, the board of directors of the Macau International Resort and Casino offered its resident employees, which the management refers to as “citizens,” US$10 worth of chips redeemable at any one of its 2,730 blackjack tables.

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China Creates Ministry Dedicated to Reminding the World That Japan Is Bad

Monday, December 15, 2014
Ministry of Japan Is Bad seal

NANJING — To commemorate the 77th anniversary of the Nanjing Massacre, China’s State Council has established an entirely new ministry dedicated to reminding the world that Japan is bad.

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China, U.S. Agree to Focus on Environment Shortly Before It Collapses

Monday, November 17, 2014
Photo © Getty

BEIJING — In an unprecedented step toward curbing climate change, Presidents Xi Jinping and Barack Obama agreed last week to focus on the environment shortly before it collapses entirely.

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Leaders of China, Japan, Philippines and Vietnam to Settle Island Disputes with Fight to the Death

Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Aquino and Xi

BEIJING — Hailed as one of the biggest success stories to come out of APEC, the heads-of-state of China, Japan, the Philippines and Vietnam agreed on Tuesday to settle their territory disputes in the South China Sea with a classic, no-holds-barred fight to the death.

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Beijing Euthanizes Poor People Ahead of APEC

Friday, November 7, 2014
Photo © Getty

BEIJING — To ensure world leaders see a clean and beautiful city, the Beijing government has euthanized millions of the city’s poor ahead of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit, which begins today.

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Li Keqiang Seen Loading Entire National Budget into ATM

Thursday, October 23, 2014
Photo © AP

BEIJING — According to multiple eyewitnesses, Chinese Premier Li Keqiang is currently loading China’s entire national budget for Q3 and Q4, 2014 into a Bank of China ATM near Tiananmen Square. The bespectacled politician was seen loading over 7 trillion yuan in new 100 yuan bills directly into the machine, printing a receipt for every 10,000 deposited.

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Drum Circles in Hong Kong Reach Critical Levels

Friday, October 3, 2014
Hong Kong

HONG KONG — As the democracy protests in Hong Kong enter their second week, sources say the number of drum circles in the city has reached critical levels.

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World Leaders Applaud China for Not Killing Anyone Yet

Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Photo © Getty

BEIJING — This week, leaders from around the world applauded Chinese President Xi Jinping for showing “extraordinary restraint” in dealing with the ongoing chaos spurred by democracy protests in Hong Kong.

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PLA Navy Withdraws from North Sea After Scotland’s “No” Vote

Tuesday, September 23, 2014
PLA Navy

LONDON — Britain’s Royal Navy reported Monday that frigates belonging to the People’s Liberation Army Navy anchored near British waters had turned back for their home port in Qingdao after the Scottish referendum on independence returned a decisive “no” vote.

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Xi Jinping Now Charging Random People on Street with Corruption

Monday, August 18, 2014
Photo © Bloomberg

BEIJING — After detaining PLA general Xu Caihou and former Politburo heavyweight Zhou Yongkang on corruption charges, sources say China’s President Xi Jinping has taken to the streets of Beijing to accuse random passersby of corruption, violations of discipline and subversion of state power.

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