STUDY: U.S. Now More Racist Against Blacks than China

Friday, December 5, 2014
Eric Garner protests

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to a new study by the NAACP, China is no longer the most racist country when it comes to discrimination against black people. Due to the high-profile cases of Mike Brown and Eric Garner, which sparked protests across the country, that distinction now belongs to the United States.

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China, U.S. Agree to Focus on Environment Shortly Before It Collapses

Monday, November 17, 2014
Photo © Getty

BEIJING — In an unprecedented step toward curbing climate change, Presidents Xi Jinping and Barack Obama agreed last week to focus on the environment shortly before it collapses entirely.

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NSA Warns Americans China Might Hack Their Cellphones

Friday, May 23, 2014
Photo © Getty

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just days after the U.S. Justice Department charged five Chinese army officers with cyber theft, the National Security Agency is warning Americans that China might be secretly monitoring…

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U.S. Court Sentences Chinese Hackers to Public Pwning

Thursday, May 22, 2014
Battlefield 4

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Pregnant Woman Desperately Trying to Hold Baby In Until American Airspace

Thursday, May 8, 2014
Pregnant woman

BEIJING — Despite feeling contractions shortly after the transpacific flight took off, 38-week-pregnant passenger Chen Anqi rejected offers to turn the aircraft around and told reporters that she planned to hold her baby in until the plane entered American airspace.

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Aging, Irrelevant Spiritual Leader Meets Dalai Lama

Monday, February 24, 2014
Barack Obama and the Dalai Lama

WASHINGTON, D.C. — An ailing, once-great leader living in political exile met with the Dalai Lama at the White House on Friday. According to sources, the aging symbol…

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Jimmy Kimmel to Replace Gary Locke as U.S. Ambassador to China

Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Jimmy Kimmel

WASHINGTON, D.C. — U.S. President Barack Obama announced Friday that, after careful deliberation, he has decided to nominate comedian Jimmy Kimmel to replace the outgoing Gary Locke as U.S. Ambassador to China.

Speaking to reporters in the White House Rose Garden, Obama praised Kimmel’s “nuanced understanding of China-related issues,” and his “ironic and edgy sense of humor, which will prove popular with the Chinese.”

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Top 10 Moments of Gary Locke’s Tenure

Sunday, November 24, 2013
Gary Locke

U.S. Ambassador to China Gary Locke announced last week that he would step down in early 2014, after two and a half years in office. Here are the top 10 moments of his tenure.

  • Aug 2011 — Impresses Chinese public by personally screaming at Starbucks barista.
  • Sep 2011 — Maintains post after Jon Huntsman calls “backsies” on the ambassadorship.
  • Dec 2011 — The Locke family stages production of A Christmas Carol for an audience of Chinese orphans.

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Obama: #1 National Security Threat Is Joe Biden Speaking to Xi Jinping

Sunday, June 2, 2013
Photo © Getty

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just days before his meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping in California, U.S. President Barack Obama told a gathering of national security advisors the great threat to America this week “is [Vice President] Joe Biden talking to Xi Jinping.”

“U.S.-China relations are on a knife’s edge right now,” Obama said, citing the trade deficit, ongoing territory disputes in the South China Sea and the string of hacking scandals. “The last thing we need is Joe Biden in the mix.”

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What the “Chinese Dream” Means to Me

Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Photo © UPI

by Xi Jinping

Recently, there’s been a lot of talk about what the term “Chinese Dream” actually means.

Is it a revival of Chinese culture? Reclaiming China’s rightful place at the forefront of history? Or is it just a hollow catchphrase Tom Friedman and I settled on after a long night of word association and binge drinking?

Well, I don’t quite remember so let me put it like this: the Chinese Dream is like the Matrix—unfortunately, no one can be told what it is.

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