Aging, Irrelevant Spiritual Leader Meets Dalai Lama

Monday, February 24, 2014
Barack Obama and the Dalai Lama

WASHINGTON, D.C. — An ailing, once-great leader living in political exile met with the Dalai Lama at the White House on Friday. According to sources, the aging symbol…

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Miniharm’s Top 10 Moments of 2013

Friday, December 20, 2013
Chinese Dream

It’s been a whirlwind year in China. Here’s a look back at 10 moments that made us smile.

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Xi Jinping No Longer Swiftly Replying to Barack Obama’s Text Messages

Thursday, September 19, 2013
Photo © Getty Images

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what is being described as a clear indication of shifting global power dynamics, Chinese President Xi Jinping has reportedly stopped replying to U.S. President Barack Obama’s text messages in a timely fashion, and sometimes does not reply at all.

Sources close to President Obama say he checks his phone obsessively for a courteous, albeit hours-late reply from his Chinese counterpart.

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Obama to Trade Chen Guangcheng for Edward Snowden

Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Edward Snowden

This morning, U.S. President Barack Obama made an official call to Chinese President Xi Jinping in which he offered to trade escaped Chinese dissident Chen Guangcheng for NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden.

Below is the transcript of the illegally-taped conversation, courtesy of the NSA.

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Obama: #1 National Security Threat Is Joe Biden Speaking to Xi Jinping

Sunday, June 2, 2013
Photo © Getty

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just days before his meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping in California, U.S. President Barack Obama told a gathering of national security advisors the great threat to America this week “is [Vice President] Joe Biden talking to Xi Jinping.”

“U.S.-China relations are on a knife’s edge right now,” Obama said, citing the trade deficit, ongoing territory disputes in the South China Sea and the string of hacking scandals. “The last thing we need is Joe Biden in the mix.”

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“Fuck it,” Says Exhausted Obama, Before Nuking Pyongyang

Saturday, April 20, 2013
Photo © White House

WASHINGTON — After one of the most traumatic weeks of his presidency, with a terror attack in Boston, a lethal explosion in West, Texas and the ignominious defeat of a gun control bill, U.S. President Barack Obama launched part of the American nuclear missile array at North Korea Friday night, effectively destroying the entire country and drawing a line under the Kim dynasty.

In a video from the White House Crisis Room, broadcast on all U.S. television networks at 9:00 p.m. EST, the president, visibly haggard, addressed the nation before obliterating the tiny East Asian dictatorship.

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