Communist Party of China Sick and Tired of You Bringing Up the Chinese Constitution

Friday, January 11, 2013
Flag of the Communist Party of China

From the Office of the Secretariat of the Communist Party of China Central Committee

Dear citizens of China,

Since the Southern Weekly incident, we have seen, and subsequently deleted, an inordinate amount of references to the Chinese Constitution, specifically Article 35 which reads: “Citizens of the People’s Republic of China enjoy freedom of speech, of the press, of assembly, of association, of procession and of demonstration.”

Frankly, we are sick and tired of you bringing up the Chinese Constitution every time we violate one of its edicts. Don’t you think we know what’s in there? We wrote the thing for Christ’s sake.

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Possible Amendments to CPC Constitution

Friday, October 26, 2012
Photo © UPI

The Communist Party of China will amend the Party Constitution at the upcoming 18th National Congress. The following are some ideas proposed in the draft document:

1. Energize base and return to Communist roots with good old-fashioned purge.

2. Increase investment in developing authentic Mexican restaurant chain.

3. To ensure the purity of Mao Zedong Thought, all documents relating to Mao Zedong will be removed from general circulation and destroyed.

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