Corrupt Hard Drive Removed from Office

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

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Li Keqiang Seen Loading Entire National Budget into ATM

Thursday, October 23, 2014

BEIJING — According to multiple eyewitnesses, Chinese Premier Li Keqiang is currently loading China’s entire national budget for Q3 and Q4, 2014 into a Bank of China ATM near Tiananmen Square. The bespectacled politician was seen loading over 7 trillion yuan in new 100 yuan bills directly into the machine, printing a receipt for every 10,000 deposited.

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Chinese Man Misses Goal, Accused of Match Fixing

Monday, September 15, 2014

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Dozens Dead from Ingesting Gift-Laden Mooncakes

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

BEIJING — In what could be the deadliest Mid-Autumn Festival in decades, 38 officials were found dead over the weekend after ingesting mooncakes stuffed with gifts intended to curry favor.

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Xi Jinping Now Charging Random People on Street with Corruption

Monday, August 18, 2014

BEIJING — After detaining PLA general Xu Caihou and former Politburo heavyweight Zhou Yongkang on corruption charges, sources say China’s President Xi Jinping has taken to the streets of Beijing to accuse random passersby of corruption, violations of discipline and subversion of state power.

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Guangdong Removes 866 “Naked Officials” from Posts

Friday, August 1, 2014

A Guangdong government investigation identified 2,190 “naked officials” whose spouses and children have emigrated abroad, and 866 have been removed from their posts. Here are the feelings of the Chinese people.

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After 1 Year, Zhou Yongkang Investigators Have Yet to Find Evidence of Corruption

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

BEIJING — It has been nearly a year since authorities began investigating Zhou Yongkang on charges of corruption and abuse of power, yet investigators have turned up nothing that could incriminate the former security chief.

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Mining Tycoon Sentenced to Death for Not Being Powerful Enough to Avoid Death Penalty

Thursday, May 29, 2014

BEIJING — Chinese mining tycoon Liu Han was sentenced to death last week after being found guilty of murder, running a “mafia-style” gang and not having enough political clout to avoid the death penalty altogether.

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Disappointment in Beijing as Sochi Declared “Most Corrupt Olympics”

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

BEIJING — Shock and disappointment spread across Beijing yesterday when the International Olympic Committee announced that the 2014 Winter Olympics held in Sochi had surpassed the 2008 Summer Olympics held in Beijing to become the most corrupt Olympiad in history.

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Wang Qishan Determined to Break This Motherfucker

Thursday, February 13, 2014

BEIJING — As his interrogation of disgraced official Zhou Yongkang entered its third day, Wang Qishan, Secretary of the Central Commission for Discipline Inspection, told colleagues that he wouldn’t sleep until he had “broken this motherfucker.”

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