Mark Zuckerberg Now Reading Entire Back Catalog of Communist Party Journal Qiushi

Saturday, December 13, 2014
Qiushi

Read More

Emergency Propaganda Airlifted to Earthquake-Stricken Yunnan

Friday, August 15, 2014
Ludian Earthquake

KUNMING — While most earthquake-stricken areas in Yunnan have received ample medical supplies, food and clean water, Chinese authorities announced yesterday that large swaths of the disaster zone are still completely without propaganda lauding the Communist Party for its efforts to combat the disaster.

Read More

Death Eaters Resent Comparison to Communist Party

Thursday, January 9, 2014
Death Eaters

LONDON — Speaking from Azkaban Prison, the remnants of the Death Eater movement told the wizarding world that they objected to the recent op-ed by Japan’s ambassador to the United Kingdom, which compared them and their fallen master, the late Lord Voldemort, to the Communist Party of China.

Read More

Miniharm’s Top 10 Moments of 2013

Friday, December 20, 2013
Chinese Dream

It’s been a whirlwind year in China. Here’s a look back at 10 moments that made us smile.

Read More

Reforms from the Third Plenum of the CPC Central Committee

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
CPC plenum

The third plenum of the CPC Central Committee is set to take place from 9-12 November and forecasters are expecting significant changes in China’s economic policy. Here are some reforms the plenum is expected to enact:

  • Value of RMB to be determined daily by random number generator
  • Clearer legal definition of haves, have nots
  • Put country behind paywall

Read More

The Right Way to Kill Your Citizens

Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Photo © AP

The Communist Party of China strongly condemns the ineptitude which with the indiscriminate slaughter of civilians is being carried out in Egypt.

As a fellow civilization-state with a long and splendid history of repression and totalitarianism, it saddens us to see Egypt bungle this attempt at massacring its own citizens. Indeed, the events currently unfolding in Egypt are an embarrassment to dictatorial regimes everywhere.

Read More

Kangaroos Being Assembled for Bo Xilai Trial

Thursday, August 8, 2013
Photo © Reuters

BEIJING — Kangaroos from across the country are currently being herded to serve as jurists for the upcoming trial of former Chongqing party secretary Bo Xilai.

In accordance with Communist Party guidelines, if Bo pleads not guilty to charges of accepting bribes, corruption and abuse of power, it will be up to the jury of 12 marsupials to determine his guilt.

Read More

I’m Concerned about the Declining Quality of TED Talks

Monday, July 8, 2013
Photo © James Duncan Davidson

by Eric X. Li

I’ve been a fan of the TED conference since its inception and believe it to be a powerful platform to share potentially world-changing ideas with a mass audience. Which is why I was so ambivalent when organizers asked me to speak at TEDGlobal 2013.

On the one hand, I was honored to be among the roster of accomplished speakers but, on the other hand, I wondered about the respectability of a conference that failed to see through my cheap, nationalistic delusions and low-level sophistry.

Read More

United Front Stages Unprecedented Filibuster at National People’s Congress

Saturday, March 9, 2013
National People's Congress

BEIJING — Emboldened by U.S. Senate Republicans, deputies from the United Front, a coalition of minor Chinese democratic parties, staged an unprecedented filibuster at the National People’s Congress Thursday morning to delay Xi Jinping’s nomination for the presidency.

Led by China Democratic League deputy Zhou Qian, members from the popular front spoke for more than 48 hours straight before yielding the floor this morning.

Read More

Let Us Choose the Next Guy

Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Pope Benedict XVI

From the office of the Secretariat of the Communist Party of China Central Committee.

Venerable Brothers of the Catholic Church,

We hear you have a quitter on your hands. Wait, we aren’t here to poke fun. We’ve been having trouble with one of ours as well. They just don’t make bishops like they used to.

Therefore, we humbly propose that you allow us, the Communist Party of China, to assist you in selecting the next Bishop of Rome.

Read More