Hu Jintao Officially Becomes Waxwork

Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Photo © AFP

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Xi Jinping Finally Gets Around to Clearing Hu Jintao’s Desk

Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Hu Jintao's Desk

BEIJING — Returning to Beijing after touring Russia and Africa, President Xi Jinping finally got around to clearing the desk of predecessor Hu Jintao yesterday—a task the new Chinese head of state had reportedly been putting off since last November.

Arriving at 8 a.m. sharp at the luxuriously appointed presidential office in Beijing’s Zhongnanhai government compound, Xi was, according to sources, “disgusted” at the state in which his predecessor had left the workspace.

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Recording of Hu Jintao’s National Congress Speech Becomes Best-selling Sleep Aid

Saturday, November 10, 2012
The most uninteresting man in the world

BEIJING — China’s top scientists are studying the soporific effects of Hu Jintao’s speech to the 18th National Congress on Thursday, after the Chinese President managed to lull all 2268 delegates to sleep within minutes of opening his mouth.

“It seems that something about the endless droning of President Hu reading meaningless, pseudo-Marxist babble from a stack of papers sends people right to REM sleep,” said Zhang Xiuji, a researcher with the China Academy of Sciences.

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