Anti-Fascist Parade Indistinguishable from Fascist Parade

Friday, September 4, 2015
Photo © Xinhua

BEIJING — To commemorate the 70th anniversary of China’s triumph over the Imperial Japanese Army in 1945, China’s communist leaders have orchestrated a massive shutdown of Beijing on a scale not seen…

Read More

Two-Kilometer Exclusion Zone Established Around Tianjin City Officials

Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Photo © Reuters

BEIJING — In the wake of the massive chemical explosions in Tianjin last week, Chinese authorities have established a two-kilometer exclusion zone around all civil servants in the Tianjin area, effective Monday.

Read More

China Creates Ministry Dedicated to Reminding the World That Japan Is Bad

Monday, December 15, 2014
Ministry of Japan Is Bad seal

NANJING — To commemorate the 77th anniversary of the Nanjing Massacre, China’s State Council has established an entirely new ministry dedicated to reminding the world that Japan is bad.

Read More

Emergency Propaganda Airlifted to Earthquake-Stricken Yunnan

Friday, August 15, 2014
Ludian Earthquake

KUNMING — While most earthquake-stricken areas in Yunnan have received ample medical supplies, food and clean water, Chinese authorities announced yesterday that large swaths of the disaster zone are still completely without propaganda lauding the Communist Party for its efforts to combat the disaster.

Read More

Xinhua Abandons Search for Japanese Link to Missing Plane

Monday, March 31, 2014
Photo © AFP

BEIJING — After spending weeks combing through official reports, attending press conferences and interviewing aviation insiders, Xinhua has officially called off the search for a Japanese link to the disappearance of Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370.

Read More

Xi Jinping Delivers Two-Hour Speech Consisting Entirely of the Word “China”

Monday, November 4, 2013
Xi Jinping

BEIJING — After returning from his tour of Southeast Asia, President Xi Jinping used his first official engagement at the Great Hall of the People to deliver a rousing speech consisting entirely of the word “China.”

Read More

Chinese Government Excited to Obfuscate Latest Tragedy

Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Li Keqiang in Sichuan

BEIJING – Following the earthquake in Sichuan which has left at least 184 dead, high-level sources within the Chinese government confirmed that they were excited to begin the campaign of dissembling and obfuscation in response to the latest tragedy.

“We’ve learned a lot since 2008,” one official said. “This time, we aim to more efficiently withhold information from the Chinese public.”

Read More

Ministry of Harmony Is Proud (and Required) to Republish Global Times Opinion Piece

Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Global Times

Ministry of Harmony is proud to republish Global Times’ insightful opinion piece regarding the Southern Weekly affair, as per directives from the Department of Propaganda.

We have not edited the text or format at all, partly because we fear for our jobs but also, how fucked up is it to change someone’s words and then publish them without their consent?

Thus, please forgive the basic factual and typographical errors below.

Read More

Following NFL Lead, Southern Weekly Hires Replacement Editors and Journalists

Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Southern Weekly

GUANGZHOU — In response to the recent strike by Southern Weekly employees over heavy-handed censorship at the newspaper, the Guangdong provincial propaganda department announced that it has filled the vacancies with replacement editors and journalists.

Deputy Chief of the Propaganda Department of Guangdong Province Zhu Yanfeng assured reporters that he would not allow this “illegal and unconstitutional stoppage of work” to affect the publication of the newspaper or the quality that readers have come to expect from it.

Read More

Six Pack Shortcuts’ Mike Chang Revealed to be Chinese Soft Power Exercise

Thursday, October 11, 2012
Mike Chang, the most dangerous man in America

After months of investigations, the CIA has concluded that the workout videos fronted by Internet fitness guru Mike Chang are in fact a soft power initiative conducted by China’s Propaganda Department. In a report released on Monday, CIA investigators claim to have found a video depicting the musclebound personal trainer attending a Communist Youth League rally in Yan’an, Shaanxi.

In the controversial video, Chang is welcomed on stage by the provincial party secretary and is congratulated for his achievements in “furthering the dissemination of Socialism with Chinese Characteristics through subliminal techniques against China’s enemies.”

Read More