Communist Party of China Sick and Tired of You Bringing Up the Chinese Constitution

Friday, January 11, 2013
Flag of the Communist Party of China

From the Office of the Secretariat of the Communist Party of China Central Committee

Dear citizens of China,

Since the Southern Weekly incident, we have seen, and subsequently deleted, an inordinate amount of references to the Chinese Constitution, specifically Article 35 which reads: “Citizens of the People’s Republic of China enjoy freedom of speech, of the press, of assembly, of association, of procession and of demonstration.”

Frankly, we are sick and tired of you bringing up the Chinese Constitution every time we violate one of its edicts. Don’t you think we know what’s in there? We wrote the thing for Christ’s sake.

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Ministry of Harmony Is Proud (and Required) to Republish Global Times Opinion Piece

Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Global Times

Ministry of Harmony is proud to republish Global Times’ insightful opinion piece regarding the Southern Weekly affair, as per directives from the Department of Propaganda.

We have not edited the text or format at all, partly because we fear for our jobs but also, how fucked up is it to change someone’s words and then publish them without their consent?

Thus, please forgive the basic factual and typographical errors below.

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Government to Deal with Southern Weekly Strikers Just As Soon As They Clear Out Some Jail Cells

Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Jail

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Following NFL Lead, Southern Weekly Hires Replacement Editors and Journalists

Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Southern Weekly

GUANGZHOU — In response to the recent strike by Southern Weekly employees over heavy-handed censorship at the newspaper, the Guangdong provincial propaganda department announced that it has filled the vacancies with replacement editors and journalists.

Deputy Chief of the Propaganda Department of Guangdong Province Zhu Yanfeng assured reporters that he would not allow this “illegal and unconstitutional stoppage of work” to affect the publication of the newspaper or the quality that readers have come to expect from it.

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